Same Ole…Same Ole-A Movie Review of “Rogue One, Star Wars” (…stinking like a dead carp at the end of a pier)

Did you read or hear about this news story:

Man falls asleep during ‘Rogue One,’ awakens to empty theater in the middle of the night

by KATU News

Saturday, December 24th 2016

 

This image released by Lucasfilm Ltd. shows Felicity Jones as Jyn Erso in a scene from, “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.” (Jonathan Olley/Lucasfilm Ltd. via AP)

CORNELIUS, Ore. — “Rogue One” is a standalone Star Wars film, and one Oregon man found himself sitting alone in an empty theater after he fell asleep during the movie.

According to Washington County Sheriff’s deputies, the man awoke around 1 a.m. Christmas Eve to an empty theater. Confused, he attempted to leave the building but triggered a motion sensor alarm in the lobby. He then called 911 to get help, because unfortunately, his Jedi mind tricks weren’t working.

“Help me, Washington County Sheriff’s deputies, you’re my only hope!” he (probably) said.

He was rescued shortly after via an emergency exit. Deputies say the incident likely wasn’t crime-related and theater staff had just forgotten to check for customers at closing time.

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Yep, that about says it all about this movie.

I saw it last weekend. I didn’t fall asleep but I almost walked out.

Let me put it to you this way…if you saw the very first “Star Wars” movie created by George Lucas and released May 25, 1977 then you pretty much know the storyline of “Rogue One, Star Wars.”  The storyline 40 years ago in the original “Star Wars” was about the retrieval of secret plans for the Death Star. The storyline in December, 2016 is about the retrieval of secreat plans for the Death Star. Both movies separated by a generation introduces new characters. “Rogue One” does bring back a few old favorites like Darth Vader but the story is EXACTLY the same. Very little difference.

Of course the graphics are a helluva lot better. There is a better sound, color, pacing. But so what? The same action sequences plotted out with similar stilted dialogue were included in the new film. The major difference is that the two main characters in “Rogue One” get killed off in the end in a strange similar fashion I have seen in other sci-fi films about destruction of the earth. This new Star Wars franchise film is derivative all the way through from beginning to end in its construction and look and feel.

Yeah, I gave away the ending but so what? Look at it this way, I am doing you a favor. Save your money. Soon enough it will be on Pay Per View, then HBO, then eventuallyfree on FX.

There nothing more I can say about this stinker. Out of five stars, a ONE…only for the technical crafting of the film. The rest of the above-the-line work is old and predictable.

And who am I to be such a hoity-toity expert…if you are just joining me on my blog adventures? I write science fiction and I am a voracious sci-fi reader. So, I know about story development, dialogue, and action-adventure. “Rogue One” has none of that.

It sits on the end of the pier stinking like a dead carp.

I think the absolute best part of the movie was seeing the CGI created Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia in the very last scene lasting only seconds. That elevated the entire venture. Rest in Peace Carrie, you were funny, smart, beautiful and talented.

Frederick Fichman

www.frederickfichman.com